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Writer's pictureDr. Kimberly Galloway

Why is my principal spouse not talking to me about their day?


As a school administrator’s spouse, it can be frustrating when your significant other doesn’t share information about their day with you. One of the most challenging tasks for a principal – or any other school leader – is separating their professional and personal lives. As leaders, they are responsible for the academic and social success of the students, faculty, and staff, and that comes with a lot of responsibility and stress. When they come home at night, it can be difficult when your spouse refuses to “unload” the day’s experiences, but there are many reasons why this is not a good idea.


One of the most important is the fact that the principal or administrator is professionally obligated to maintain the confidentiality of all of their work. Discussing it with their spouse could reveal sensitive information or create a conflict of interest. They may also be tempted to discuss personnel matters, which would clearly violate privacy laws. The last thing you want is to put your spouse in a position that breaks the law.


Another reason why a principal may not want to discuss their work with their spouse is that it can create a level of stress in the home. For example, if a principal is having a difficult day, they may not want to bring it home and create a negative atmosphere. This can create tension between the couple and add to the overall stress the principal is already feeling.


Finally, a principal may avoid discussing their work at home because they want to remain focused and present in the moment. Work can wait until the next day. By strictly not discussing work at home, the principal can focus on their family, relationships, and personal well-being when they get home, creating a more balanced and healthier lifestyle.


Ultimately, it is important that principals keep their home and work lives separate. Whether it’s for legal reasons or the health and well-being of the family, a principal should be mindful of their words and actions when it comes to sharing their work experiences at home. The best way to support your spouse is by helping them focus on the good things at home and being there for them if they need to vent about their day.


- Dr. Kimberly Galloway


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